a friend in need
by pamy
Summary: When a body on the beach is somebody that Tony knows he realises just how much he needs his teammates. Friendship. First NCIS story. Please review.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: body on the beach

He stood on the beach staring at the ocean. When he woke up this morning he wasn't really expecting this. He wasn't expecting he would stand on the beach. He wasn't expecting his hearth to break. Actually when he woke up this morning he had been feeling better. Somehow it seemed like the memory of Jeanne was fading. Little by little. But now he was standing here. Crying on the beach. It wasn't what he had imagined his day to be. Not at all.

And it had all started so great. He had woken up and had felt better. He had gotten to his job in one peace. He had talked with Ziva about movies (who would have ever thought). He had played a prank on McGee. Gibbs had hit him on the back of the head for it. He could still feel it. It didn't matter. Just a day like every other day. And then the phone rang.

Dead body on the beach. It wasn't the first time, it would definitly not be the last time. But the weird thing was that the person wasn't a marine. Or at least nobody could know if she was. She was wearing civilion clothes and had no indication of being a marine on her. Yet here they were. It seemed weird. But it wasn't the first time.

His mind drifted of as he had walked down the beach. It was weird that they had called them. Somehow it would have been more logical to call the police. If they would find out that she's a marine they would hand over the case. The weirdest thing was not that they had called but that they had specificly asked for them. Special Agent Gibbs team. That had only happened once before. It was when Ari had wired the car to explode...ok not a good thought.

He heard his boss give orders and had been talking to Ziva but when he saw the body he stopped. Her face was down on the sand so he couldn't see it. But yet there was something familiar about her. Almost as if he knew her. Maybe he had met her before. He sighed. It was probably his imagination. That's when he saw the bracelet.

It was a beautiful silver bracelet with dolpins hanging from it. He had seen that bracelet before. Actually the bracelet was his. It had been his mother's. He had given it to her. That's when he had realised why the body was so familiar. Vaguely he realised he had dropped the camera in the sand. It didn't matter. He knew everyone was looking at him. But he needed to make sure first.

'Ducky..Could you..euhm...turn the body around?' Ducky looked at him as if he had gone crazy. He knew that it was against protocol. But he needed to see her face. 'Ducky just please.' 'Tony I can't you know that my boy.' He took a deep breath. 'DUCKY! Just do it please.' He had never screamed at Ducky. Nor would he ever do it again. It was like screaming at Abby. It was just wrong.

He felt Gibbs look at him. He knew he was acting strange but he had to convince himself first. He expected another hit on the head. Anything. 'Do it Duck.' 'Gibbs.' 'Duck.' Ducky and Palmer softly grabbed the body and turned her around. The second he saw her face he closed his eyes. He had known it since he saw the bracelet. But now he was absolutely sure. He fought the tears and looked up again.

'DiNozzo. You know her.' He nodded. He knew his boss wanted a name. He just didn't really trust himself to speak at that moment. After a couple of seconds he answered anyway. 'Yeah.' His voice didn't sound like his voice anymore. It sounded broken. 'Ladies and gentlemen...I give you...Jeanne Benoit.' He saw the understanding slid over their faces. He felt Ziva come closer to him. He didn't want to be surrounded by them.

'I'm sorry' Unable to fight his tears back anymore he turned around and ran away. Behind him he could hear Gibbs tell Ziva not to come after him. He had never been so gratefull. He just needed to be alone. Gibbs understood. He ran untill he couldn't anymore and then he stopped. He had no idea how long he had been standing there before his knees became very weak and he fell down. Tears rolled down his cheeks.

He had not forgotten her. He had needed more time to stop loving here. He realised that he had kept on to the hope that maybe she would come back. But now it was over. She would never come back.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Like a son

**Gibbs POV**

He stood on the beach. He knew his team would be arriving soon. He had no trouble saying that his team was the best team. He knew his team better then anyone else. He realised things about them. Sometimes before they realised it themselfs. Maybe not Ziva. Ziva was definitly harder to read. But the others were easy. Especially DiNozzo.

It wasn't because he was bad at hiding things. No it was becaus he knew him so well. He knew him better then anyone else. He loved him. He may not show it very often but he did. More then anything else. Like a son. He knew Tony looked at him as a father. Like the father he never had. He knew Tony so well. And that's how he knew almost instantly that something was wrong.

When Tony saw the body his attitude changed. He wasn't Tony anymore. The joked disapeared before they finished. He recognised the body. He saw it in the way he behaved. In the way he stood there. He realised it the second he saw Tony's face. Something was wrong. He heard it in Tony's voice. And he knew. He knew it was somebody Tony knew. Somebody Tony loved.

He only told Ducky to turn the body because he knew Tony wanted to make sure first. He could be wrong. He wished that he was wrong. He didn't want Tony hurting like that. He inmeadiatly knew that he did know the victem. He saw it in the expression of pain on his face. He knew it when the camera fel. He knew. He simply knew. He heart Tony's voice tremble and answer his question.

Jeanne Benoit. The girl he had loved. Maybe he still loved her. Maybe he never stopped. And now everything was gone. For good. He knew how Tony felt. He had lost once. He sighed. Trying his best to remain calm. He saw Tony run away and his first instinct was to run after him. Comfort him. Like a father comforts a son. But he didn't. It had been Ziva's first instinct to. It didn't matter.

He wanted to run after DiNozzo but he couldn't. He wanted to be there for him but he couldn't. He knew Tony wanted to be alone right now. He knew Tony needed to be alone right now. So he decided to do the one thing he could do for Tony. Work on the crime scene and find the evidence to catch the basterd who did this.

**Tony's POV**

Tears rolled down his cheeks. He didn't cry fast. He cried when his mother died. He remembered. He was a little kid at the time. He cried when Kate died. Not where anybody could see him. But he cried. He cried when Paula died. Jeanne had been there for him. But he didn't cry anywhere else. He didn't cry in front of everyone. He knew he wouldn't cry for nothing. But he cried now.

His father would call him a wimp. He would tell him that tears were useless. That they didn't matter. That the pain he felt didn't matter. All that mattered was the family bussiness. The money. But that didn't matter. He had lost all contact with his father a long time ago. All he had was the team. That was his family. He knew they would be there for him when he needed them the most. Or at least he hoped so.

But he sat there alone on the beach. Jeanne. Dead. He still couldn't believe it. It was as if a part of him still wished he had been wrong. That he had seen wrong. That it wasn't her. Hope. You never lose it. Even when there is no hope anymore. He felt his hearth break. Everything hurted. He wanted to die. He wanted to be with her.

Lose your love your hearth's desire once is bad enough right. He seemed to have no luck .He had only been in love twice. Sometimes he thought it had been three times. He could never been sure. Your first love is somebody you never forget. Even if you didn't know if you really loved them. His first love had been when he was sixteen. She had died in a car accident.

Then he had fallen in love with Kate. She had never known. He didn't think he had really known himself. Or at least he hadn't admitted it to himself. The second he was really sure had been right before she died. When she had been shot the first time. He was never going to tell her. But to see her die right there in front of him had been the worst feeling in the world. He thougth he would never fall in love again.

And then he saw Jeanne. Sometimes he thought he had fallen in love with her inmeadiatly. He sighed. Leave it up to him to take an undercover mission and fall in love. Then lose her by having to tell the truth and eventually have to work on her murder. Leave it up to him. He sighed. At least he understood the anonymous phone call now. The killer had called himself. He had wanted him there. He wanted to cry. He wanted to break.

But he wouldn't. It wasn't him. He couldn't deal with it. He simply couldn't. He sighed. He knew what he would do. He would do the same thing he did with Kate. The same thing his boss did. Focuss on the case. Find the killer. Get revenge. Think of the pain later. Just find the person who made him suffer.


	3. Chapter 3

_Note: Thank you for all the reviews. _

_I have a question does anyone remembere what Jeanne's collegues were called? The two nurses she kept talking to. They were in the last episode of the fourth season. Also what was the name of the under cover agent who worked with Jeanne's father? If anyone could help me that would be great._Chapter 3: By his side

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He sat down behind his desk. He could feel Ziva and Probie look at him. He didn't look up. He couldn't look up. He didn't want to see the pity on their faces. He didn't want to know that they felt sorry for him. He just sat there. Staring at his computer. Trying to block her death body out of his mind. He took a deep breath. He had to be strong. He had to find the killer.

Ziva looked at Tony. She wanted to do something for him. Go to him. Talk to him. Be there for him. Hug him. But she couldn't. She remembered how she felt when Ari died. She didn't want anyone by her side. She didn't want anyone's help. She didn't know if Tony would want anyone's help. And if he did he wouldn't want hers. She sighed and looked at her computer. She had to foccus on this. She had to find the person that did this to Tony. That's how she could help him.

Gibbs stood at the top of the stairs. Looking down at his team. Looking down at Tony. He seemed the same like every other day. But he wasn't. He was sure that not many other people could see it. But he knew him better then anyone else. He knew that Tony was broken. He knew how Tony felt. He shook his head. He cared about Tony. He didn't want to see him hurt. He really didn't watn to.

'Gibbs.' He didn't look up. He kept looking at Tony. 'Director.' 'He should go home.' He shook his head. The last thing Tony should do is go home. 'Gibbs. He shouldn't be a part of this case. He shouldn't be. He should be home.' 'No.' 'Why not.' 'Because...He's in pain Jen. He's in pain and in denial. If I send him home right now it will hit him. And it will hurt like hell. He doesn't need that. He needs to do something rigth now. He needs...to fight. He needs to find the person who did this. Because if I send him home Jen, he's going to do something stupid. He needs to be here. He needs this.' 'Ok. Just make sure he doesn't cross the line.' 'I don't know if I can do that.' 'Tony's not you Gibbs. You know as well as I that he is not capable of taking revenge. No matter what they did. He's not you.'

'McGee.' 'Boss.' 'Found anything yet?' 'I have called her mother. She's in Europe right now. Can't find her father, but we all knew I wouldn't. Still working on her friends and collegues.' 'Ziva?' 'Still searching were she has spend the last couple of months.' 'DiNozzo. With me. Now.'

Tony just stood up and walked behind his boss. They stepped into the elavator. He should have known. This seemed to be the only place his boss would talk to any of them. And sure enough the moment the elavator started to move he stopped it. 'DiNozzo.' He sounded soft. Full of understanding. He had never heard his boss like this. Scratch that. He had only heard him talk like that when Kate died. 'I don't want to talk about it boss. I just want to find who did this.' 'I know. And we will. But you need to let me do this. You need to listen to me.' 'Boss...' 'Tony. Just follow my lead. I promise you that however did this will pay for it. Just listen to me. I know what you're feeling.' He looked at his boss. He knew that he was talking about his first wife and Kelly. 'Fine.'

Sitting back at his desk he started to work. Trying to find out were Jeanne's collegues and friends were right now. He didn't look up. He didn't dare to. If he would he might find pictures of Jeanne on the big screen. Or not. Maybe Probie and Ziva would be sensible enough not to do that to him. He sighed. He just hoped his boss wouldn't make him go to autopsie. He didn't think he could look at her body again.

Gibbs sat at his desk. He was focusing on the papers in front of him. Yet he found himself glancing up at Tony every now and then. Just to make sure he was still looking alright. He sighed. These kind of things only happened to Tony. He was just glad that Tony wasn't hurt this time. He sighed. Tony was hurt. He just didn't want to accept how hurt he was. That's part of the reason why he wanted Tony to be there with him.

He knew Tony needed to know who did this. Maybe he even needed revenge. He also knew that he couldn't really stop Tony if he did that. But he also knew that soon enough the realisation of what had happened would hit Tony. And he wanted to be there when it happend. He didn't watn Tony to be alone. He wanted to bet there for him. No matter what he would be by his side. No matter what.


	4. Chapter 4

_note: Thanks to SparklingCatseye for your help. And thanks for all the reviews. _Chapter 4: there when you need me

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**Tony's POV**

Time passed though not one of them seemed to notice. Maybe they did notice. Maybe he was the only one who didn't notice how much time passed. He didn't even notice that his boss had left him coffee. He didn't even notice he drank the coffee. He looked at his computer. He had been staring at it for so long. He hadn't done anything. They hadn't done anything.

Somebody killed the women he loved. Again. And nobody was doing something about it. Maybe his dad had been right. Maybe he did attrack bad luk. It seemed to be that way. He sighed. He found himself thinking about Jeanne. He shook his head slightly. He didn't want anyone else to see it. Foccus on the case. Just stare at what's on the screen.

Because as long as he didn't hink about her he didn't have to feel the pain. He had done it before. It had worked. For a while. What he needed to do right now was find the killer. Make him pay. He could deal with the pain later. Because he knew no matter how fast he ran the pain would catch up with him. Eventually.

**Ziva's POV**

She typed on her computer. Trying to do something. Trying to find something that would lead her to the person who killed Jeanne. Who hurted Tony. Every now and then she glanced up. He never looked up. It was almost as if he was afraid. At a surten point when she looked up she saw him shake his head. He kept working on his computer. Maybe she imagined it.

She wanted to help him. She wanted to go over there and say something. Be there for him. But she didn't. She never knew what to say at situations like this. And she knew herself. She always ended up saying the wrong thing. Hurting him. Even more than he was hurting right now. If that was possible.

She would say the wrong thing. The one thing that hurted him the most. And then he would hate her. She would come across as heartless. As if she didn't really care. Like that time with Abby. But she did care. She cared more then anybody would ever know. Not even Tony. She turned to her computer. She couldn't talk to him. But she could find the person responsible for this. Her way of helping Tony.

**Gibbs POV**

He kept looking at Tony. He could see that Ziva was doing the same. Just in case. He knew Tony wouldn't break. Not here. Not yet. He always broke later. When he found the person responsible. When time passed. But not inmeadialty. Not when there was somebody responsible. He would find that person. And then break down. When he was all alone.

But still he kept his eyes on Tony. One time the way he dealed whit things would backfire on him. And he wanted to be there. Just in case it happened. He wanted to be there for Tony. He knew that it didn't always came across like it but he liked his senior agent very much. And he wanted to help him. He knew he only showed this when Tony was in trouble. Maybe he should show it more often.

But he didn't. He knew Tony knew. And he hoped that Tony knew that when he needed help he could come to him. He saw Tony not a little. He whised he could do something. But everyone deals with pain there own way. And he needed to let Tony do this on his own. But he needed to let Tony know that he was there for him.

So every half hour he got Tony a cup of coffee. Tony didn't even drink one of them. But he hoped he got it.

_And he did. He never touched the coffe his boss brought him but he understood what his boss was telling him. It was a simple message. I'm there if you need me. _


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Brother and sister

Chapter 5: Brother and sister

**Abby POV**

She walked trough her lab. She couldn't believe it. When Ducky had first told her who the body on the beach was, she had thought he was joking. Messing with her. But he wasn't. She couldn't believe it. Poor Tony. These kind of things always seemed to happen to him. She wanted to help him. But she didn't really know what to do. She didn't know what to say. All she could do was go trough the forensic evidence. And hope that something would come up, to help Tony.

Because that's all she could really do. Catch the person responsible for this. The person who made her Tony suffer. She shook her head. She had to fight against the urge to go finds Tony. To be with him. She was more of help in here. Finding the person who did this. That's all they could do. Because they couldn't bring back Jeanne. But they could bring the person responsible to justice. And she hoped that that would help Tony.

She turned around when she heard a soft voice call out her name. And there he stood. She had never seen him so broken. So vulnerable. So hurt. No that wasn't truth. She had seen him like this once. When Kate died. And now he was like that again. And there was nothing they could do for him. All she could think of was to walk to him and give him a big hug. Hold him tight. Let him know she was there for him.

**Tony POV**

He wasn't really thinking when he went to Abby. He simply got up and walked to the elevator. His first thoughts had been to go to autopsy. To see Jeanne. He needed to see her body. He needed to know it was for real. He needed to know she was really dead. But he couldn't. He pushed the button to go to autopsy. He went all the way down. And then changed his mind. He couldn't he wasn't ready.

Instead, he got back in the elevator and pushed a random button. Thinking back of it later, it wasn't really that random. In the past when he had ever needed a helping hand. Somebody to hug him, to tell him it was going to be alright. Somebody to hang on to, he had gone to Abby. He didn't really know why. Maybe it was because he saw her as the sister he never had. As the sister he always wanted.

So when he called out her name and saw her look at him, he let his guard down. The pretend that nothing was wrong with him, that he was doing alright, that he had been playing all day disappeared. He just let his pain shine trough. His eyes filed with tears. He felt her hug him really tightly. He hugged her back. And for a moment it felt as if everything was alright. As if everything was going to be alright.

And there they stood. He was sobbing on her shoulder. She was holding him tight. Like brother and sister.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: father and son

Chapter 6: father and son

**Gibbs POV**

He didn't know what to do. That didn't happen to him often. But right now he really didn't know what to do. He couldn't find a way to help Tony. He couldn't find a way to make sure he would be alright. He couldn't find the way to stop him from hurting. Because the one thing Tony wanted couldn't be done. He couldn't bring Jeanne back. Nobody could. He had lost again. Just like he did with Kate.

He had always known his senior field agent had been in love with Kate. He had always known that Kate had loved him to. But his rule made them turn back. His rule made them back away from each other. And by the time he realised that maybe he should give them a chance, Kate had been shot. And Tony had lost. And now, he had finally found somebody again. Only to lose her to Jen's vendetta against 'The frog'. And now he could never get her back.

Dead was final. It couldn't be turned around. It couldn't' be stopped. When somebody was dead, there was no turning back. It was over. He saw Tony get up and walk to the elevator. He wanted to go after him, but his phone rang. After finishing his conversation, he looked over at Tony's desk. Slowly he got up and walked to the elevator. Tony needed him. He knew that much.

**Tony POV**

He had left Abby alone in her lab a while ago. Now he was sitting here. He hoped nobody would find him here. He wanted to be alone. He didn't want Ziva to look at him with Pity. Or Probie looking at him, not knowing what to say or do. He didn't want to see the director looking at him, with guilt in her eyes. He didn't want Ducky to tell him stories. He didn't want Gibbs to bring him coffee. He didn't want Abby to hug him.

But while he wanted to be alone, a part of him wanted not to be alone. Because if he was alone all he could think about was Jeanne. Her smile. Her eyes. The way she looked at him. The way she kissed. The way she had cried when he told her he loved her. The way they were. All those memories. Pushed back by the memory of her dead body on the beach. He couldn't be alone. Because when he was alone, all he thought about was her. Her smile. Her eyes. Her lips. Her dead body.

He felt a strong arm around him. He hadn't realised somebody had walked in. He hadn't noticed that Gibbs sat down next to him. He didn't even notice he was crying. All he could see was her. Jeanne. And he wondered. He wondered if he was cursed. He wondered if it was all because of him. He wondered if he was responsible for her dead. He shook his head. He couldn't cry. He had to be strong. He had to find who did this. The pain could come later.

He could hear Gibbs whisper something but he didn't catch it. Not the first time. Gibbs had to repeat it several times before he understood what he was telling him. 'I will find who did this to you Tony. I will find the person responsible. And he will pay.' And he believed him. Even if he had no prove that Gibbs was telling the truth he believed him. Because he was Gibbs.

_And together they sat there. They didn't know for how long. Gibbs had his arm around his senior feel agent. Tony was fighting against his tears. And anyone who walked past them would think that it was a father comforting his broken son. Because that's what they looked like. Father and son._


	7. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**Author's note**

I know this story has been on hold for a long time. And I'm actually having a lot of trouble with it I simply don't know how to go on. So I think this story isn't getting finished. If anybody has any ideas of how to proceed or would like to take the story over or something just PM me or review. Sorry to all those that liked the story.

Pamy


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